Monday, 30 April 2012

The Ballerina At My Door

I'm killing two birds with one stone today, since I am a certified idiot who forgot yesterday was International Dance Day and also, I need to up my kindness quotient *a new year's resolution* that really isn't done often enough. Not that I'm a mean snob or something...jeesh.
But seriously. Oh wait I forgot what to write now...erm....YES! typical of me -_-

So me being a ex-ballerina of 6 years, who's worked with people from Juilliard and everything, dancing has always been part of my life. As previously mentioned, I was a ballet dancer in training for 6 YEARS. Heck, I saw dreams of being a prima ballerina one day. Then, of course, I quit after my first year of high school to pursue music and fashion. But I still miss it. I loved ballet a lot. I thought of it as such an elegant, graceful and beautiful art form. I loved the costumes and the music and the movements. I loved everything about it.
I also hated the fact that people used to think, and still do actually, that ballet was for sissy girls who just twirled around on their tippie-toes in silly, froofy tutus. It annoyed the CRAP out of me. I hate people who try to imitate ballerinas. They look like absolute fools. And I also hate people who laugh at ballet and don't take it seriously.

This is an amazing ballet duo that were on the show, Live to Dance. I LOVE their performance :)

I remember coming home with sore legs, I remember gritting my teeth when I was forced to raise my pointed leg at a 90 degree angle and keep it there for a whole minute while keeping the rest of my body straight and perfectly aligned. I remember feeling like I was going to cry because my teacher kept shouting at me to point my toes while I was pirouetting in the air for hours on end.
Nobody really understands the kind of pain and sacrifice a ballerina goes through. It's actually a lot tougher than running around trying to kick a ball. In fact, I think it's one of the most difficult dance forms in the world. So I guess you should think twice before making fun of ballet. It DEFINITELY ain't for sissies.

I never got to go on pointe. It's actually pretty dangerous. If not done properly or at the wrong time, then you can break your toes, or seriously injure yourself. Possibly, ruining the chances of you ever dancing again. But still. I guess doing your first pirouette en pointe, is a pretty magical feeling :)

Aww, I used to love it when the little kids came from the baby class to watch us. They'd stare with their little wide eyes and gasp at our twirls and exercises. I remember thinking to myself, "This is the best feeling in the world" :) This year, I met with one of my old friends who I used to do ballet with. She told me how she'd always wanted to be like me as a ballerina. She told me how she'd feel pathetic when the teacher complimented me and ignored her. She asked me why the hell did I quit when I was so good! This made me laugh because I used to feel neglected and awful in the exact same way about another girl!! I guess ballet also makes you feel insecure and down a lot. You need to have a tough skin. Now both of us have left ballet and we laugh over our memories.  We may not have been cut out for it but that's okay. We enjoyed it back in our days :)
Ohmigod. I sound like a granny reminiscing about her past!!! Lmao

Oh I clearly remember waiting in the wings, giggling with my amigos and waiting for my cue. And I wore a costume exactly like that when I played a swan in our rendition of the Swan Lake. My white tutu is still sitting in my cupboard ;)

Tell me. Does that in any way, look easy to you??

Moving on to the actual point of this post :) I have a friend. His name's Tawanda and he's a writer. No, scratch that. He's an INCREDIBLE writer. The stuff he writes, is so incredibly mature and moving and beautiful and....well, why don't you see for yourself? I stumbled across one of his poems on Facebook yesterday, and sure enough, it's about a ballerina :) Enjoy!

The Ballerina At My Door

There's a ballerina dancing at my door

Dancing to classical music score

Here skin pearly and pale

Each footstep like raining hail

Eyes icy cold

A girl whom has sold her soul

Her soul sold to dance and ballet

She would like to perform a piece if she may

A figure so gracious

Her movement vivacious

Yet so soft and calm

She holds the music in her palm

Perhaps I could give the ballerina

A penny or two for a dance

Perhaps I could give her applause

If she shows me contemporary romance

Tights stretched across her long legs

Black markings and white powder on hercheeks

It is for dance that she endeavors

An endeavor I would like to meet

Choreographed and synchronized touch

The tears from her eyes bear too much

The little girl who dances for the world

Holds the music in her palm

And utters a soft psalm

She whispers quietly to herself

She dances on the shelf

The library of dance

She tries to find her book

She tries so hard to look

The ballerina then performs her grand opus

Her final piece and final movement

The final orchestration that is conducted

The plot and the story that has been constructed

She pirouettes for the final time

Tonight is the night she finally shines

She glows and her joy spreads

We feel all that she has held inside

The ballerina dancing at my door

Does not wish to dance any more

She has moved enough to the musical score

Doubt erased she is now sure

While moving her feet to the symphony

The ballerina at my door has left me
Left me with harmony and melody
Omigod. That just makes me sigh at his talent.  And also make me feel like a pathetic loser compared to him. If you wanna see more of Tawanda's rad writings, check out his blog HERE
Thank you for sticking by till the end. I atleast hope you now see ballet in a different light :)
And if you're a serious dancer, I say that keep on dancing and never give up. One day the world will see your moves :)

xoxo vami-kat


  1. I always smile when I visit your lovely blog *you're doing a fab job*<3
    Ballet days...*how much we've grown since then!*
    I can't believe we never got to pointe...but we accomplished a lot anyway =)
    You just inspired me =D
    Thanx Lovie *hugz*

    1. aww natasha this made my day :) thank you so much <3 *hugs* Xo